almost cried at work today

I work at a school and I barely see any Asian, not alone Cambodian teacher. so this year I worked with a Cambodian teacher and he really inspired me. its interesting that he taught a lot of cultural ethnic issues even though he's an english teacher. I've never seen that before because most of my teachers were white. so anyway, this month the students were learning about Khmer Rouge and the aftermath. first it didnt affect me because honestly I knew very little about the khmer Rouge. but since now Im also doing a research paper for my history class about the Khmer Rouge, it kinda hit me.
Its a shame that I knew very little about khmer rouge. My parents didnt like to talk about it. They just said thank god they're still alive. but then again my parents were kids during the Khmer rouge era. I grew up in the refugee camp, site 2. I thought life was great over there, but what did I know? I was only a child. I get to run free inside the camp not knowing that there's danger all around me. that's the reason why we were stuck there in the first place.
but after I watched a documentary video today about a girl's family I almost cried because I cant believe how ignorant I was about the situation. I understand how every khmer suffered a great loss, but I never did comprehend how significant it is. I guess it finally hit me today. I dont know why, but maybe seeing pictures of the camp that I used to live in really open my eyes how much we suffered as Khmer.
while watching the video, my eyes got so watery that the teacher told me to sit down and read a book instead. I was ashame, seriously. I know my parents never told me anything because they dont want me to think too much. I think all the time. depression is like my long term disease or something so my parents would do whatever to make me happy. but I feel like I didnt care how much my parents suffer. I didnt care that I now have less relatives. I hope I can finish my papers without being too emotional